To relax before bed, give yourself 20 minutes of wind-down: dim the lights and put screens away, write tomorrow's to-do list, do a few minutes of slow breathing with a longer exhale, relax each muscle group in turn, and play a quiet, steady sound if it helps.
The 20-minute wind-down
- Minute 0 to 3: lights down, screens away. Switch to warm, low lamps and put your phone out of reach. This is the cue that the day is over.
- Minute 3 to 6: write tomorrow's to-do list. In a sleep lab study, people who spent five minutes writing a to-do list fell asleep faster than those who wrote about tasks they had already finished (Scullin et al., 2018).
- Minute 6 to 11: slow breathing. Breathe in through your nose for about 4 seconds and out for about 6. Slow breathing near six breaths a minute is linked with calmer heart rate and mood (Zaccaro et al., 2018).
- Minute 11 to 17: progressive muscle relaxation. Starting at your feet, tense each muscle group gently for 5 seconds, then let it go for 10. Work up to your face.
- Minute 17 to 20: sound and stillness. Lie down with a quiet, steady sound such as ocean waves, light rain or singing bowls, and let your breathing follow it.
Rest counts, even when sleep does not come
Lying still with a relaxed body and slow breathing is restful, even if you stay awake. Trying hard to sleep usually backfires. Aim to relax, and let sleep arrive when it does. If you are still wide awake after about 20 minutes, get up, read something calm in dim light, and return when you feel sleepy.
Relaxation sounds to try
- Ocean waves: one wave every 7 to 12 seconds is a natural breathing guide.
- Tibetan singing bowls: long, fading tones for meditation and the last minutes before sleep.
- Light rain or a river: soft, steady and easy to ignore.
All of these are free in the Canopy & Tide mixer, with a sleep timer so the sound fades once you drift off. For a broader plan, read sleepmaxxing: what actually works.